I slept late today!! I woke up at 7am. Which still isn’t bad but I would like to be up at 5, latest 6 everyday. I just prefer the morning, I am productive and when you seize the morning you seize the day.
I wasn’t feeling the best today, still am not. But thats ok! I am grateful for the highs and the lows, thats the beauty of life. I have been trying to think all day why I don’t feel great. What has been different? Or am I just still adjusting? Is my physical body still in shock? Because my emotional body is?
The only thing I can think of right now is maybe because I had Chinese food last night?! I don’t usually eat that kind of food - I find Chinese food contains lots of sugar. Anyways, that’s my current conclusion. Also I have not been moving as much as I usually do, which I know takes a huge toll on my physical and mental body. To say the least, I am out of my comfort zone. My mind is all mumbo jumbo because geographically I can’t even visualize where I am.
I can a little bit!! I know a few streets in each direction, and my way to Bondi, but thats about it. For example, even to go get groceries, you have to really think about it. I guess I am moving at a slower pace than usual because, well I don’t really have to explain that we all know I just picked up and left to a new country. It’s hard for me to accept slowing down, but I know it is a necessary step in my growth as an individual.
I am pretty hard on myself for not having a job and not thriving in this new environment yet. I need to remind myself that it takes time to ground yourself and grow new roots. I am not sharing this for people to reach out but just to share that sometimes we need to take a step back, relax, and enjoy the process.
Its funny, my fortune cookie last night said “A gem cannot be polished without friction.” I would say that’s pretty on point with where I stand right now. The second part said “Nor a man perfected without trials.” That part doesn’t quite fit with me right now, but I figured it’s a good reminder to all you ladies out there.
I am sharing all of this because I want people to know the reality of big decisions/ changes like this. Everyone is different, so this is only my opinion and not set in stone, but I’m sure I am not the only traveller to feel like this. I want my blog to be real. I want to encourage you to take the leap. It for sure can be scary, but I always remind myself that you can’t fly if you don’t jump. This whole trip for me so far (lol its only been 6 days) but is to feel the fear and go straight towards it.
It’s not that I’m homesick, unhappy, or sad, but just nothing. I feel like I’m floating, it’s like brain fog of ok which direction do I take the first step, where do I decide to plant a root. Honestly this is great for me, because those of you who know me know that I am SO indecisive!! And it has honestly been a huge issue for me, literally years ago I researched ways to overcome indecision. But now everything is all on me!! Every little thing is my decision. Its a never ending exercise of overcoming indecision! ANYWAYS! About my actual day, I basically just did blogging stuff all morning, really wasn’t feeling great so took it slow. I wanted to try out Fitness First in Bondi Junction, a gym, but then I noticed a little bump under my eye - like what I used to get before I went into anaphylaxis, although it wasn’t itchy so I wasn’t too worried. But that made me a bit nervous because I haven’t had that in over a year. Instead I took a little rest and did some yoga, I am someone who needs to move everyyyy day, multiple times a day. So its hard when my body doesn’t allow that. The challenge is to be able to listen to what it needs and actually give it that. So I practised yoga for quite a bit then came back to blogging.
Please don’t be shy to ask if you have any questions!! Even if they’re personal ones.