“We are what we repeatedly do, excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” -Artistotle
It has been brought to my attention that some people perceive the action of moving away being associated with one not being happy at home. That is not the case for me, and I am positive is not the case for many others.
Satisfaction and happiness are two VERY different things.
Socializing also does not have to do with ones happiness. There are very many different types of people. The lack of socializing does not mean someone is unhappy with their life. Yes maybe if you know that individual is a very social person and there is a sudden change in behaviour. 100% that would be a concern.
But speaking for myself, the minimal socializing that I do in Vancouver does not mean I am unhappy. I socialize, just not A LOT. But for me, it is the perfect amount. I see people at the office, at the gym, at yyoga, and wherever else I go in my day. To be honest, that’s good enough for me. Maybe once a week, or even once a month will I chill with friends, and again, that is plenty for me. *This by no means I don’t like my friends. I am beyond thankful for them, I seriously have the greatest friends in the world, and love them like none other. I actually often think about working/saying no to plans now, so that in the future I can fly them somewhere abroad to “chill”. I am very focused on my goals, so I don’t actually see the lack of socializing as a concern, but something to be proud of that I have the discipline to say no to going out, or going for dinner or to see a movie. I encourage myself to stay home and read, it is not a punishment, but a reward. Everything in life is nor good or bad, but simply a perception. I have heard that “isolation is a gift”. It reaps rewards and I can 100% back that up. There are 0 distractions when you isolate yourself. When I talk about isolation, I don’t mean that I am depressed and don’t want to see anyone. I mean that I say no to plans, because I want to read, or write, or draw, or paint, or do something that I feel will advance myself/my skills, or make me grow. That is why in Sydney I have been making myself get out more, because at this moment in time that is what I feel will make me grow. I have also learnt that we all crave human connection. Everything in life is a balance. Before I left van I wanted complete isolation so that I could focus. Although once I got it, I realized that’s not exactly what I want. I want a balance, yes more time alone to work on everything that I am building, but also those few times a month seeings friends are very important. I am someone who has to try the extremes to know what works best for me. I used to eat meat, and I have also tried being Raw Vegan, and I know, for now at least, being a vegetarian is what works for me!
"You've gotta keep control of your time and you can't unless you say no. You can't let people set your agenda in life."
When I arrived in Sydney I had achieved complete isolation. That’s when I realized that’s not exactly what I want. But a fine balance. It is easy for me to isolate myself because I genuinely enjoy how I spend my days/my company, and what I have chose to create for myself. We all have to work, but we do have the power to choose our work. If you want to be self employed then you actually have to be SELF employed. You have to do the work before you get paid for it. You have to create the opportunity to get paid for it, and you have to put a shit ton of effort into it before you see any kind of result. It is just like going to the gym. You have to do it everyday for a long time to even begin to see changes, and you have to CONTINUE to go, to maintain it. Being self employed means NO DAYS OFF. Which means saying NO. Which means isolation! Or.. find people who are doing the same thing. You can do your thing, just together. But you both have to be on the same level for that, otherwise it becomes a distraction.
So yes, I have isolated myself, because at my age, most people are just finishing University, so there are very few people who just want to sit on their computer together. So hence why I just do it on my own. But to clarify that has NOTHING to do with my happiness. In fact I am INSANELY happy. I honestly control/ monitor sharing my happiness and don’t even share how happy I really am because I don’t want to make people feel bad with how happy I am. But that sounds kinda stupid too now that I see it in front of me. Right now I am driven af, my goals are simply just more important than a night out with friends.
Back to the point about moving away because someones not happy at home. No that is not the case, I am VERY happy at home. SO happy. How could I not be, my life is amazing!! Living at home is easy, but ease is not what I crave. I crave adventure and growth. I think if something is easy, one is no longer growing. And if you’re not growing, you’re dying. I am HAPPY at home, but I am not satisfied. To be honest I will probably never be satisfied, but that does not mean I am not happy. I very much enjoy the process of growing, and happiness comes from within. It should not be associated with a result, or location. Therefore I will continue to grow through seeking to reach a new level, once I reach that level I will continue to seek the next, throughout the process I will very much continue to be happy. Because again, happiness is not the same as satisfaction.
So Why Did I Move??
Definitely not because I was unhappy. Because I seek adventure and growth. I had felt that I was no longer growing where I was in that present moment. If a seed does not grow, you don’t change the seed, you change the soil. So that is what I did. I changed my environment. Now I am excited to go back home because I can see how I can continue to grow, but I needed to change my soil first to see the new possibilities back in Vancouver. I mean I saw them before I left, but I know there are very few opportunities that one can leave home for 6 months at once. So I took full advantage of my age, and lack of REAL responsibilities, to live 6 months of adventure.
I hope this can clarify some of your perceptions on the reason one moves. It really is not a lack of happiness, but satisfaction. And I hope that EVERYONE continues to want more for oneself. Always be happy, but not satisfied. I don’t seek more because I am unhappy with what I have, I am over the moon with what I have. But it’s fun to want more, I don’t let it control my happiness, I don’t let it bring me down if I don’t get it, it just makes life that much more exciting and thrilling to work towards something. By wanting more I also don’t mean things, but skills, or characteristics. It can really mean anything.
Life is an ADVENTURE and live it that way!! Don’t just survive and get through it. LIVE and GROW through it.