To Be Alone VS. To Be Lonely
“Cherish your solitude. Take trains by yourself to places you have never been. Sleep out alone under the stars. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no when you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here. Believe in kissing.” - Eve Ensler
Do you think there’s a difference??
Some people seem to think being alone means you’re lonely. I think there is strength in solitude.
Yes you can be alone and feel lonely, but you can also be surrounded by others and still feel lonely. Personally when I am alone I feel like I can seize the world. Sometimes I do feel lonely, I’m not ready to seize the world 100% of the time, but I always remind myself that that is only a feeling, and I am quite quick to snap out of it. Travelling alone has taught me that you really do not need anything or anyone to make you happy. It is simply a decision that you make for yourself. I knew this before but now it’s really engraved. Obviously I pray I never have to live a life without my loved ones. But our inner peace really is depended on our perception, not those around us, or our surroundings.
I think it is important to spend time on your own. Everything becomes clearer. However, I also believe that we are here to share experiences with others. I believe we are always exactly where we are meant to be, even when were stuck in traffic, or some unfortunate situation, for some reason that’s where were meant to be.
I don’t have to force myself to be alone because I am quite the introvert, instead I have to force myself to go out and socialize. Which I am learning to understand it is just as important as an extrovert should spend more time on their own.
If you love yourself, genuinely love yourself, be your own best friend, you will never feel alone.
Why I love solitude?
I create things for myself to do. I read, I journal, I blog, I meditate, I sketch, I brainstorm business ideas, I workout (yoga, run, gym, hike, swim). There’s literally always something for me to do. Those are just a few of my hobbies, doesn’t include painting, training/teaching, art van stuff, socializing. My point is, don’t just live to go to work and wait around to see what your friends are doing. Design your life around what you want to do, not what everyone else wants you to do.
If you don’t know what you like to do for fun… ask yourself! This is when being alone comes into play. You actually have to sit down with yourself and ask these questions. No joke grab a pen and paper and answer the question. I used to spend 10-20 minutes a day having a ‘Dream Party’. This is what I call brainstorming my future. It is important for us to actually design our life. We’ve all heard we’re the captain of our ship, but I don’t think we fully understand it. The last 2 years have been big planning years, designing how I want my life to be. To be honest I haven’t been doing much planning at all in the past 6 months but that’s because I have been living out what I had planned. Now that my time in Aus is coming to an end, it’s time to check in with myself, and get back to the drawing board ;)
Think, Plan, Act - Repeat. Basically how I see life.
A great way to do this is to ask yourself what would you be doing if you had complete financial freedom. All the money in the world. How would you spend your days?
That is your dream life. I guarantee you can make it your reality. Once you have a clear vision of how that life looks, then work backwards! Start with the what, not the how. The how will present itself.
I detoured from being alone vs lonely.
Friday night I went to the Eminem concert on my own. I have never been to a concert on my own, or a movie, or anything like that. Never felt comfortable doing that. But I have always wanted to see Eminem, and who knew when the opportunity would arise again. Am I not supposed to live my life if I can’t find anyone to do things with me? I went and literally had the time of my life. It’s all about the music anyways right? It didn’t really matter if I knew the person standing next to me or not.
My point is, you don’t have to feel lonely when you’re alone. Make some things for yourself to do. and if you don’t know what you like to do, or you’re tired, then sit down and just be. For me, music, walking/running, or being near the ocean can put me in the zone. Learn to love being in solitude. Everything comes down to love. Self love is a practice. If you can’t love yourself unconditionally first then don’t count on anyone else loving you. The law of attraction is always at play. If you emanate love, you will attract love. Simple as that.
What excites me and overwhelms me at the same time is that we can literally do and be anything we want in this world. The part that overwhelms me is that I don’t know where to start. Brainstorm those ideas, and have the confidence that you can achieve them. You do not need anyone or anything to make it happen except for the belief in yourself. If it helps I believe in you :) xo