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Dear Allexanne,

Dear Allexanne,

Happy 29th Birthday. Unfortunately you’re not here today to celebrate, but I pray you’re living it up in a better place.

Grandpa always use to say “Everydays a good day, just some days are better.” Today is just a good day.. but I know the better ones are soon to come. Luckily we have the art show to keep us distracted.

Your death has taught me quite a few things, and I am sure many more to come. It has been a very strange experience. It’s hard to explain how I feel as I have never experienced anything like this before.

Honestly, you have taught me a lot. I have grown so much in these past 8 months. My mum mentioned how tough it must be to experience this kind of grief at such a young age, but honestly I am grateful. Obviously if I had my choice you would still be here, but that’s not something I can change so all I can do is decide how to feel in this present moment. Which is grateful. I don’t have to wait till I’m older to realize how special each minute it. I know now not to waste any time, to do only what I love, and to do it with the ones I love. To not be afraid to take a risk, as the worst thing that could happen really isn’t so bad…

The fact is you’re not here. It’s bizarre, but it is something I can learn from. It has pushed me to ask myself daily what is truly important. Am I doing the things I love? Am I with the people I love?

The biggest thing this has taught me is that nothing really matters. It might seem kind of depressing sometimes, but its not, it just is what it is. It brings me peace in stressful situations, because it’s true, nothing really matters. Everything just gets thrown out or given away when you’re gone, so you may as well live your best life. Yeah save up for a nice house and a nice car…. but what if you don’t make it that long. If you can save up and still live your best life then go ahead, but if you’re suffering everyday doing a job you despise then that is not a life to live.

I fear death in some ways, and in others I don’t. I only fear a death if I have not lived a life worth living. Life is about the adventure, the trill, the love and the heartbreak. To explore, grow, and change is what’s important. To live a safe life, is to not live at all.

Just like that.. and you’re gone… that was it! In the blink of an eye, I pray you were not in pain. We miss you so much. The worst thing in the world is watching someone you love be in pain but you can’t help them because you feel the same thing. I hope you are at peace, and living your best afterlife.

It drives me to “be successful”, to push my limits, to do extraordinary things in a short amount of time, and it also gives me peace that if I don’t… nothing really matters.. it would be great if I could change the world for the better, but if I can’t I mean its whatever.

Everything is temporary, the good and the bad, the joy and the suffering, so enjoy the good times as they do not last, and don’t sweat the bad times, as they are soon to pass.

So travel, work hard, love hard, and be happy…. because that’s all that really matters.

Lots of love my loves,

Live your best life and try not to stress as much… it’s really not necessary. xoxo

Happy Birthday Baby Girl, we love and miss you every minute of every day. Sky

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